Way Past the Pesky Point of No Return
by Simply Lily
Summary: Logan destroyed some veeery important tapes, it was only a matter of time until she came so that they could engage in a mature conversation about it. Or, you know, NOT. Kind of LoVe, though that can be debated. Oneshot. Complete.


Oh, hello, I didn't see you there! How are you? I, myself, am going mad with anticipation for a new Veronica Mars episode already! I was sure it was supposed to come back yesterday, and now apparently we have to wait another week? That's kinda cruel, Rob. Hum, also, **_I'm not affiliated with this show in any way besides daydreams during boring classes and these stories. If you wanna sue, well, sue. See you in court, mister (would you be willing to autograph my orange jail suit, by the way?)_**

Any.Way. I know there's another certain story with a similar description is floating around bellow me ("Confrontation" by **_Marianna_** who betad this story for me and convinced me to post it so shortly after hers – thank you so much!) but **THIS IS NOT THE SAME STORY!** Seriously, she and I, (or me and her? This is where my English packs a suitcase and leaves me) have a quite different perception on Logan and Veronica's relationship. Not to mention, I had some rage when I wrote this, so… well, you'll see.

I almost forgot (yeah, sure I did), after you read this story, could you please please please press The. Best. Purple. Button. _Ever_ and say hello? It would brighten up my life.

Enjoy!

Lily,

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**Way Past the Pesky Point of No-Return**

He knew it was coming. _She_ was coming. Honestly, if she always found a way to accuse him of crimes he's never even considered committing, imagine what she'd do when he actually _commits _something. Which was why he found himself sort of lingering next to the door the whole day after Keith busted him, wondering when the Insipid PI, Senior would spill the beans about his little, oh, you know, _theft_ and stuff.

She didn't come that day, so he kept waiting. It was odd that she didn't come immediately, he couldn't help worrying a little, even being somewhat offended that she didn't come. And just when he started to think that maybe his crime wasn't _that_ bad and didn't actually render a reproach from Veronica, Duncan came back (where had he been, anyway?), drunk and disoriented and told him in tears about Meg and his new daughter and the fact that he was going back to his old home with his parents indefinitely.

_Oh, _so it wasn't that what he did wasn't _bad _enough, something _worst_ just happened first. Logan did know that when Veronica came eventually; she'd be carrying some extra baggage to toss at his face.

Four days passed, and not a thing. And then, just when he stopped floating pathetically around the door, it knocked. He peaked through the peephole and magically, at the sight of her annoyed pose, convinced himself within seconds that he had done nothing wrong (_ever_) and that the stupid bitch could kiss his _ass_. With that motivating train of thought, he opened the door with a huge smile.

"Oh, dear. Veronica Mars."

"Logan," she spat out his name as if it caused her pain.

He kept the smirk plastered determinedly on his face, because that was the only expression that didn't get him in trouble with her. "Honestly, _Ronnie_, I expected you to come days ago."

"I had things to do," she deadpanned.

For a fracture of a millisecond, Logan considered offering some words of comfort or regret about Meg's death, but then the little red guy on his shoulder reminded him about the _kissing ass_ thing and the white dude could never keep up with the bad things he did. He was still stuck on the '_you should never have drugged your best friend, jackass'_, which meant that he still had a year of mistakes and disasters to go through before he got to this year's good stuff.

"Well? Didn't you want to accuse me of something?" he asked casually, motioning for her to get in.

She didn't move, "You destroyed the tapes."

He placed a hand on his heart and gasped, "My God in heaven, you're actually _right_ this time."

"How could you, _Logan_?"

"It was surprisingly easy, _Veronica_."

Her chest rose and fell and she pursed her lips angrily. "I…" she trailed off for a moment and tried to even her breathing. "I don't even know what to say. Is there even a way to reach you anymore? Do you even _listen_?"

Logan wasn't expecting that defeat. He felt unbelievingly deflated. Having Veronica give up on healing him was something, but to have her give up on _wounding_ him was unbearable. "What the _hell _are you talking about?"

"What I just said. You're out of control. Do you even realize what you _did_?" her voice broke slightly at that point. A maid came out of the elevator and forced her to enter. She seemed disgusted by the idea of sharing a room with him.

He frowned, "You just said it, I destroyed the tapes. Are you okay, Veronica?" he meant that as an insult, but some concern managed to somehow penetrate his voice. She didn't notice, of course.

"I talked to Cliff. The murder count is gone."

Logan's heart missed a beat. _No way_. "Don't be dramatic," he sneered, "_I_ watched the tapes, _you_ watched the tapes, and I bet everyone in the stupid sheriff's department watched them too. Possibly with some keggers from one of my parties."

Veronica's eyes darkened.

"So?" she asked disbelievingly. "Your _daddy_ has a team of high priced lawyers who are experts in looking for stuff like this. If anyone of us gets _anything_ wrong, the tapes will be excluded! Do you understand that? Do you think any jury would convict Aaron on _my_ word alone?"

Her voice was starting to scare him. It had a little bit too much _edge_ than usual and the way it broke at the end of almost every word was like thunder in Logan's ears. "But I've seen it. Do you think I'll ever be able to _forget_ that?"

She tilted her head and smiled bitterly, "Yeah? What color was Lilly's bra?"

_Come again? _"Are you kidding?"

"Well?"

"In which tape?" he asked, longing to prove her wrong for once.

She seemed unimpressed with his determination, "The October 1st one."

Oh shit. It was the last tape he watched, what was it? Black? No, he was pretty sure Lilly had never owned a black bra. Then again, he used to be pretty sure she wasn't sleeping around with his dad. _Come on, Logan, think!_

Veronica raised her eyebrows expectantly, so he just threw the first color his though about, "Hum… white?"

Her smile widened and turned cruel. "Just _plain_ white?" she asked viciously, "no flowers, or ribbons or lace?"

Logan thought about it for a moment before sighing and lowering his eyes in defeat. "I… I don't know," he admitted.

She sneered. "Very good, Logan! I hope the rest of the officers in the sheriff's department have a _remarkable_ memory like yours. And you watched it _yesterday_. Who knows when they have, right?"

_Crap._

"You know," a light bulb suddenly lit up in his mind and he straightened with renewed energy, "I would have never thought to do something like that if your stupid boyfriend hadn't stolen the tapes in the first place. He was going to sell them to the press. There would have been sex videos of Lilly all over the net within hours. Do _you _understand that?"

"God, he's not my boyfriend! I don't expect anything from _him_!" her control was through the roof along with the snide yet _subtle_ tone of the conversation. They were just plain fighting now.

He chuckled wryly, "But you expect things from _me_?"

"I expect_ed_ you to understand. I expect_ed_ you to _care_! If not about Lilly than at least about _me_." She said the last part quietly and Logan had a sudden urge to yell that _he did!_ However, he didn't say a thing, so she sighed and shook her head. "I didn't realize it was too much to ask."

He never felt more violent than at that moment. "Yeah, because you _care_, right?" he spat, furious, "You're my Guardian Angel, aren't you, Veronica?"

Veronica chuckled sardonically, "Well, if by Guardian Angel you mean that I do what_ever_ you ask me to without thinking of the cost, then yeah, sure."

Logan let out a deep sigh and tried to attach all his guilt about the Irish mafia thing to it. It didn't quite work, but he managed to feel a little more righteous anyway (it was all _her_ fault anyway. If she hadn't told Weevil and if Weevil hadn't…) "You're never gonna forget that, are you?" he almost whispered.

"No!" she exclaimed without even stopping to consider it. "And I'm never gonna forget _this_, either. And if we lose the case because of this, I never want to see you again. Ever."

"You never wanna see me anyway," he crossed his arms, afraid to even try and imagine life without _anything_ from Veronica Mars. "And, to be honest, I never wanna see you, either. So maybe it's good that I destroyed the tapes."

She shook her head dejectedly and wiped her eyes, "maybe it was."

"Yeah! Best idea I ever had!" he said stupidly, feeling the years rolling of him.

Her phone suddenly rang, startling them both. Veronica sniffled her tears away and answered it shakily. "Hello?... No dad, I just stopped to buy the paper, I'll be right home… yeah, I'm fine. Alright, bye."

Logan laughed humorlessly, "do you even remember how to tell the truth, Veronica?"

She shot him a hateful glare, "do _you_?"

"God, can't you try to see my side? Just for once. _Please_." He couldn't believe he was begging her, but he was just so tired of being a disappointment to everyone in the world. Someone had to see that he was worth _something_, that he didn't just do things because he was stupid and selfish.

"That's what I always did," Veronica said almost voicelessly. "Don't you get it, Logan? It's always about you. _You_ get into a mess with the PCHers, _you_ need help with _your _murder investigation, _you_ get arrested, _you're _setting fires…"

"That's not fair! Those things weren't my f…"

She raised a hand, "I know _most_ of those things weren't just your fault, but it doesn't add up to anything."

The vain in his forehead almost popped with rage, "so, that's why you broke up with me? Because I had problems? Because I needed you, and you just didn't _feel_ like being there for me?"

She sighed deeply and slumped on the nearest couch available, he just continued to stare. "I can't get you to understand… this summer…" She stopped abruptly and tried to rephrase her words, "you always needed support and you always needed help and encouragement…"

"Gee, I thought that was what you give when you love someone," he murmured.

"Yeah, fine. I tried to give you all that. I did. But, Logan, I couldn't sleep. Every time someone turned on the gas to make coffee I started to hyperventilate. I lost my mom and I lost my cause and I lost my best friend all over again. And you? You were just _never there_. I couldn't carry us both on my back."

She was almost crying now, and Logan wanted nothing more than to run away and forget that he was ever even _born_. He wasn't a white knight; he didn't know how to be. No wonder she ran to the first guy who looked like he might be able to carry her baggage. He suddenly realized that the fact that the guy in question turned out to be Duncan was, well, completely coincidental. It could have been anyone. Well, anyone but _him_.

"Do you _finally_ understand?" she asked desperately, as if getting some recognition from him would make it all justified.

The word got stuck in his throat, begging for him not to say it out loud. "Yes."

She looked relieved.

"I don't suppose…" _what are you saying, idiot? Shut up! Shut the hell up!_ "I don't suppose we can… start over somehow?"

And just like that, all the intimacy that was somehow building even though they were technically fighting disappeared into thin air. Veronica got up and walked to the door without even looking at him. Logan wanted to stop her, make her say something at least. Even something insulting. But he couldn't bring himself to move.

"Aren't you supposed to turn around and say something hopeful now?" he asked just before she left, when it was clear that she _wasn't_ about to turn around with a smile and say something like '_maybe someday_' or _'I'll get back to you on that'_.

She tilted her head in his direction and shook her head sadly. "In case you haven't noticed," she said after what seemed like hours, "things are so much _worse_ now."

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_Click clock, click clock, _Look at the little V's. Look only at the V's. You're feeling veeeery sleepy. Sl_eeee_py. Good. _Click clock, click clock,_ now press the button underneath the arrow and write whatever you want in there. When you close the window you'll wake up and won't remember a thing. _Click clock, click clock._

(No, seriously, pretty please review?)

V

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